We continued to spend every day together, Matt came to a wedding reception with me and met some of my best friends as well as my family, and we spent many nights staying up way past my 9:30 bedtime and silently staring into each others eyes or just talking about how much we liked each other. My journal entries around this time are scattered with comments of “everything is so good” along with “sometimes I feel scared – what if this ends?” But ultimately, we just kept talking all day, seeing each other every night, and making more plans for future dates and to-do list items.
Near the middle of April, I spent the day in Salt Lake at a baby shower, bridal shower, my little brother’s basketball game, and with my cousin Abby as she went to the Temple for her first time. Which meant I got a lot of questions from a lot of family and friends about this guy I kept posting about on Instagram. As I drove back from Salt Lake that afternoon, I thought about how happy I was and everyone’s little hinted questions of “So… will there be a ring?”
I often like to pray in the car when I’m alone. It’s my favorite place to just share all my thoughts with Heavenly Father and talk to him more openly than I sometimes do in my daily prayers. My conversation this day started with “So, I’m not going to ask you if it’s okay if I marry Matt because I feel like it’s way too soon and we only started dating like five minutes ago. So, I’m just going to tell you how much I like him. Unless it’s not too soon to ask?” and ended with me feeling pretty certain that marrying Matt was exactly what I wanted and that wanting that was a really good thing.
That night, I introduced Matt to the show Alias. The first episode is pretty intense and includes a scene where the main character finds a man murdered in a bathtub. (Sorry for the icky details, but it adds to the humor of this moment.) Through the whole episode, I kept telling myself that even though I was really excited about how much I liked the idea of marrying Matt – I was not allowed to tell him yet. Then, suddenly right at the moment that Sydney Bristow is screaming at the murder scene, I turned to Matt and asked him if I could tell him a secret. It just burst out of my mouth!
He agreed and I instantly panicked. “Tell him you have six toes… Anything else, you can’t tell him this!” Since the six toes thing wasn’t true and I couldn’t control myself I said “I’m pretty sure I want to marry you someday.” Followed quickly by “and I’m going to pause this episode for a moment.”
We talked about how the same thought had crossed his mind and that things just “felt right”, but decided that we didn’t need to make a decision about anything quite yet. He later told me that I freaked him out a little bit by saying that so soon/being the one to say it first. But clearly it wasn’t enough to scare him off. 😉